Men’s Therapy, Self-Esteem and Anxiety: Body Image
Men’s Therapy & Self-Esteem: What We Don’t Talk About
I was looking in the mirror the other day after what felt like 4 hours in the gym (it was more like 20 minutes) and I kind of liked the post workout pump. Cut to an hour later, eating the Sunday dinner I told myself I deserved and no doubt all visible traces of my workout had disappeared. Sure, there's that age old adage that exercise clears the mind and makes you feel good, keeps you in working order and from turning into a shrivelled raisin on the couch etc. But if you’re reading this thinking therapists don’t have niggles about themselves, they do.
Scroll. Compare. Repeat.
Moving Past Anxiety
It isn’t just women who wrestle with body image. More and more men are quietly admitting—or sometimes not admitting at all—that they feel anxious about how they look, whether they’re “enough,” or if they measure up against the expectations of others. In my therapy practice in Leeds, I see this in the therapy room often: men who appear confident on the surface but carry an inner critic that never switches off.
Part of the problem is the way gender roles have been handed down to us. Men are often taught to be strong, capable, and in control, which leaves little room to admit vulnerability about something as personal as appearance. Society tells women they should care about looks, while men are told they should simply “get on with it.” The result? A silence that makes men’s anxiety about body image harder to name and even harder to challenge.
Social media, gym culture, dating apps—all of these pile on the pressure. Images of lean, muscular men are presented as the standard, and anything less can feel like failure. For some men, that means chasing a certain physique at all costs; for others, it’s avoiding mirrors or social situations altogether. These struggles don’t always come across as vanity. More often, they’re tied to low self-esteem, a fear of not being good enough, and the quiet anxiety of falling short of expectations.
Why Men Might Not Talk About Body Image
Fear of being seen as weak
Pressure to live up to traditional gender roles
Belief that body image is only a “women’s issue”
Lack of safe spaces to be honest about insecurity
In men’s therapy, body image anxiety is often just the entry point. Behind it can lie deeper struggles: performance at work, feeling unworthy in relationships, or the pressure to be “the provider.” Therapy offers a space where these expectations can be explored and challenged. Instead of chasing an impossible ideal, men can learn to separate who they are from what society tells them to be.
Finding Confidence Through Therapy
Therapy isn’t about quick fixes or learning to “love yourself” overnight. It’s about understanding where the voice of “not enough” comes from, building self-esteem that isn’t dependent on appearance, and creating a more balanced relationship with both body and mind.
If you’re a man reading this and recognising yourself in these words, you’re not alone. Anxiety and self-esteem struggles affect men just as much as women. Therapy offers the chance to talk about it—sometimes for the first time—and to start finding confidence in who you are, not just how you look.
Sound Familiar?
If you’ve ever thought, ‘How do I stop comparing myself to other men?’ know that these struggles are common — and talking them through in therapy can make a difference. If you’re ready to explore this for yourself, men’s therapy in Leeds (or online) can give you the space to work on body image, anxiety and self-esteem. Get in touch today to take the first step.
Anxious about therapy?
If those dreaded gender norms make reaching out feel like a challenge, I’ve laid out what to expect on my Getting Started section - so you can explore therapy without the guesswork.
You can also read more about Men’s Therapy here
