New Year, New Me?

The Truth About New Year’s Resolutions: A Therapist’s Perspective

It’s late December, and you’re chatting with a friend over coffee or a pint when they drop that dreaded question: “Any New Year’s resolutions?” It’s that time of year when conversations inevitably turn to 2025—what are your goals, hopes, or aims? For some, it’s invigorating; for others, tiresome.

Many of us reach a certain age where our default response becomes, “I don’t need a new year to prompt me to change my life.” And honestly, there’s some truth in that. We don’t need a specific date to motivate us to grow or improve. Change can happen whenever we put our minds to it.

Let’s do it ALL at once, shall we?

That said, if the symbolic fresh start of a new year provides focus or inspiration, I say embrace it. However, as a therapist, I’ve seen many people struggle with feelings of failure or disappointment when resolutions don’t go as planned. Maybe Dry January faltered after a week, or the commitment to read every night fell apart because life got in the way. These common resolution pitfalls can be disheartening and often leave people questioning their ability to follow through.

The Hidden Pressure of New Year’s Resolutions

Let’s take reading every day as an example. The motivation might stem from a desire to reduce screen time, explore new ideas, or even improve overall well-being. You might think, “If I read before bed, I’ll sleep better, wake up feeling refreshed, and have more energy for the gym.” All noble intentions, but this chain of reasoning can create undue pressure. When life intervenes and the routine breaks, the guilt can overshadow the original positive intent.

The reality is that New Year’s resolutions often place us in an all-or-nothing mindset. When we stumble, we’re quick to label ourselves as failures. But what if we shifted our perspective? What if resolutions became guidelines rather than rigid rules?

Setting realistic goals can be difficult.

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Therapy and the New Year

Many people use the new year as an opportunity to address what’s been holding them back. Perhaps 2025 feels like the year to take control, tackle unresolved issues, or confront challenges head-on. If that’s you, I’m here for it—and for you. It’s incredibly powerful to want to take the reins of your life and explore your potential through therapy or self-improvement strategies.

However, I also want to emphasize that it’s okay if you’re not ready to dive in just yet. You can start therapy, pause when needed, and pick it up again later. Resolutions don’t have to be perfect or permanent—they’re yours to shape.

Tips for Setting Realistic Resolutions

To help avoid common pitfalls, here are some strategies for setting New Year’s resolutions that work.

• Start Small

  Focus on manageable, incremental changes rather than sweeping transformations. For example, commit to reading one chapter a week instead of every night.

• Be Specific

  Vague goals like “get healthier” are harder to achieve. Instead, aim for something actionable, like “eat vegetables with every meal” or “exercise for 20 minutes, three times a week.”

• Build flexibility

  Allow room for life’s ups and downs. Missing one day doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it’s just part of the process.

• Celebrate progress.

  Acknowledge and appreciate your efforts, no matter how small. Every step counts toward self-improvement and mental health in the new year.

• Reflect and Revise

  Check in with yourself periodically. Are your resolutions still serving you? Adjust them if needed to ensure they’re sustainable.

Looking Ahead - Your Goals in 2025

New Year’s resolutions can be a powerful tool for personal growth, but they shouldn’t become a source of stress. Remember, there’s no “right” way to set or achieve goals. Whether you’re exploring your potential in therapy, setting resolutions, or simply navigating life day by day, you’re doing enough.

For more insights on mental health, building resilience, and personal growth, visit my blog, where I explore topics like radical acceptance, men’s mental health, and overcoming anxiety. Let’s make 2025 a year of sustainable growth and well-being!